DISPUTE RESOLUTION 101 CONTINUED: Family Law, Divorce Petitions
In the event there is indication that a marriage is going on the rocks: For the purposes of this blogpost we will write as if this is you, dear Reader:
Ground Zero: Go for family counselling with your counsellor of choice to see if counselling helps with repairing your marriage. The irretrievable breakdown of a marriage otherwise, ends in divorce or annulment of the marriage (separate Family Law 101s will be shared for annulments at a later date). For purposes of this Divorce Petition101, we will focus on the preliminary processes leading up to the intention to litigate and to end the marriage with a decree of divorce.
1. Get your paper trail in order.
This is for any assets owned by the parties, both jointly and separately. Keep a record also of all joint and single expenditure made on behalf of the family, and of the spouses. Marriage is after all a contract between the parties.
2. Try to keep things non-acrimonious, hard we know, for some breakups.
At the very least, consider the savings of keeping things friendly. Joint petitions cost a quarter of contested petitions. Contested petitions are high stress for all parties concerned, the counsels included. You will be billed accordingly.
3. Keep copies of all communication between parties.
This includes communication over social media. If you can export that chat text history, do it. Remember to take screen grabs too.
4. Write a chronology of events from the start of the marriage to the intention to file for divorce. This will be pages - long if it was a long marriage. It will be necessary for your counsel to have, in order to prep your case. Leave nothing out. Include all things related to the marriage which your lawyers need to know:
- Mention in the chronology how and when you met your estranged spouse, how and when the relationship started, whether the families of both parties were on cordial terms, who proposed, and how was it carried out.
- Mention how and when you became engaged and then married. Indicate whether you registered at JPN first through the civil ROM processes (that would be the point the marriage became legal), was there a religious wedding ceremony thereafter, how the reception was, and where was the first home you lived at, what would the parties consider their family home.
- Mention if there are children of the marriage if there are any. Detail when were they born, particulars of their main caregiver, the spouse who looked after the household and the kids day-to-day rearing and care, whether either parent had been a stay-at-home parent, did both parties work outside the home, how did things go in the initial years, how were the finances shared between the parties - "his, hers and ours" or one party held the purse strings.
- State the moment when did the marriage start getting strained, did the marriage start to break down, notable events relating to the strain and the breakdown (e.g. SGBV, domestic violence, affairs, financial mismanagement, et cetera), when did the breakdown reach a no-turning back point (irretrievable/point of no return).
- Set out if whether a separation of household occurred, when was the intention to separate, whether there had been any attempts to reconcile and work on the marriage to fix things, and if so how many attempts. What happened during all the attempts at reconciliation?
- Finally do set out the date the decision to file for divorce happened, and so on, the particulars of this i.e. whether this decision was mutual or not, and whether the parties can agree or not to things such as maintenance, joint/full child custody arrangements, taking into account the children's wishes and feelings, whether there would be joint living arrangements but separate households, or whether there is any intention for a total clean break of the family into two, and the parties are to live in 2 physically separate households, then the decision will be who the details pertaining to rights to the children for custody/visitation, the joint contents of the marital home, movables and personal assets, the library books, the motorbike, the car, the dog, the cat, and the goldfish.
5. Did we mention try to keep things non-acrimonious?
We did, and this is hard but important to attempt. Especially if there are children of the marriage. If this is impossible, then just try to avoid any additional stress in unnecessary confrontations, and leave things to your lawyer after you have instructed them accordingly.
6. Go for marriage counselling at JPN.
The government will try to see if it is possible to resolve the differences and salvage the marriage.
7. Go to the marriage tribunal hearings at JPN.
If matters are unable to be resolved and things are irretrievable, then the divorce is happening, isn' t it? :( Our sympathies on the ending of your marriage. Keep on keeping on and be strong.
8. Find family lawyers from the Malaysian Bar Directory and get things started.
Just find a lawyer you can connect with, and whose fees you can afford to pay. Otherwise, approach the Legal Aid Centre at Bar Council for assistance (note that there is a means test requirement there).
Best regards from Anne and Melani at Messrs Varghese and Co.
